I have always used social media platforms as a way to update folks on my life, my work, and share my thoughts and feelings as I made my way through the daily stuff. I’ve laid it all out there for and it has been my own kind of journal in many ways. It has also been a gift to reconnect with people from all the decades of my life and see how their lives have taken shape. It’s been a vehicle for me to share the incredible work I’m honored to do every day and I hope that it has been a balm or a mirror in these very noisy and divisive days. The platforms were also places where I could grow —as a human and a mother — as I made big and small changes in my life.

Lately, I’ve noticed that the social media part of my world has turned a corner — adding to the noise I try to escape, creating distractions I don’t need, becoming a crutch, adding to some shame and blame for the time I spend on it, and leaving myself wide open to things I’d like to move on from. It turns out that last part is where I need to create some boundaries. What was once a very healthy place for me has turned into something different and I think it may have more to do with me than anything or anyone else.

I am not a fan of making big statements about leaving social media because we all know that there is a BIG possibility we will be back in a week. That’s the kind of choke-hold the internet has on us. So, please do not read into this and think I’m making any declarations.

I also know I can’t be alone in all of this. Just as I shared with all of you my decision to live an alcohol- free life in this part of my life’s journey, I’ve realized there are a lot of similarities with how I have used social media. What a hard thing to realize, huh? I mean it is JUST social media. But… I am JUST Amanda and my heart and brain struggles with turning some things off.

So this is me saying that I think it is time that I try something else for a minute. Maybe it will be longer than a minute? Who knows. But what I do know is it’s important to say the things out loud and maybe there is something here that we can all relate to? After all, we are in this big, wide world together and figuring out how to do this life with all of this technology and connection and noise and distraction and it isn’t easy for any of us.

So… I’m going to try something different and I may go back tomorrow, but I want to say the thing out loud in case someone else needs to hear it. There’s no need to keep it all inside or pretend it isn’t there.

I’m still trying to figure out how I use this time and wondering if I should document it for myself (blogging here or sharing in some other way). I guess I’ll have to just wait and see.

Love y’all.